I’m sorry, but if lesbians can control themselves in a girls only changing room with ass naked woman waltzing around. Then I figure men should be able to control them selves with clothed girls walking down the street. Just a thought.
620. A muggleborn and a pureblood become best friends as soon as they get assigned a bed next to each other. Their parents are very glad and very open about it so every holiday one of them spends a week with the other to discover something from their culture (soccer game/quidditch game, camping trip muggle style/wizard style, visiting villages and monuments and museums, etc.) and one summer, they bring their parents and siblings and it’s all a fun mess and happy memories.
NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.
NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE. LIVE.
URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>
NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE.
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT.
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA
NO “MATTER”. EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
I feel like something really important just happened
This is what I do instead of homework
marching baritones seeing trumpet players complain about their arms being tired like
When I was in fifth grade I realized I liked girls but I was like “that’s a problem for another day” and literally forgot about it and then in like eleventh grade I was like “oh my god”
YOU PROCRASTINATED REALIZING YOUR SEXUALITY THAT’S IT YOU WIN YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF THE PROCRASTINATORS i bow to you
- French Horn: FROM THE BAND ROOOOOOM TO THE FIELD (to the field) TILL THE SPIT DRIPS FROM MY VALVES AND AAALL YOU BITCHES CLAP
- Flutes: She's first chair and I'm playin too flat, sittin in the second row with all the clarinets and if YOU COULD HEAR THAT I AM TRYING TO ROLL IN
- Trumpets: My band director don't.My band director don't.My band director don't want us to play high C's son
- Clarinets: Let's gather round the podium and sing our band geek song it's the S-Q-U-E-A-K-Y I hate my liiife song
- Saxophones: Sooome day, Iiii'll be, playin tenor sax and all you're ever gonna be altoooo.Why you gotta suck so bad?
- Percussion: I'ma teach you how to buzz roll son I got 99 problems but a pitch ain't one
- Oboe: The double reed is broooken and they're real expenSIVE.BAND DIRECTOR'S PISSED AND GIVING ME A GLARE
- Basoon: I'm all about that bass bout that bass no treble
- Tuba: *Rick Ross grunt in the background*
I got one of those sleeping masks you put over your eyes to keep the light out of your eyes and i was like “haha I wonder what this looks like on” so i took it to the mirror and put it on and then I realized the flaw in my plan